1. Happy New Year!
New York Giants tight end Jeremy Shockey has greasy hair. He is a large man whose arms are decorated in the classiest of tattoos and he would probably punch his own mother in the stomach if she looked at him the wrong way.
He’s a little more abrasive than a cactus covered in sandpaper. Which is exactly why ladies are clamoring to get a shot at a New Year’s kiss with him. Shockey is hosting a New Year’s party in New York City.
How did he choose to advertise it, inviting only the classiest ladies? On Craigslist, of course. Here is the advertisement…
“Manhattan’s hottest, newest nightclub is hosting Jeremy Shockey’s New Year’s Eve Party and we want to surround his guys with the city’s hottest girls. If you think you can dress, dance and drink the part, then please send one head and one body shot, as well as your name and contact info to brunofierce@gmail.com. Free entry and open bar all night long to the ladies we select.”
Is that a form of reverse prostitution?
“Can you drink the part?”
What does that mean?
It’s essentially asking if the girls can get so drunk enough not to remember what it was like to enjoy Shockey’s company in a hotel room after the party. This is some pretty sleazy stuff, but the e-mail address is the icing on the cake.
“Brunofierce@gmail.com.”
Wow.
Either he was conceived at a pro wrestling event and his parents named him Bruno Fierce to mark the occasion or, more likely, he is a porn star.
Have a happy New Year, ladies! Nothing like ringing in 2008 by being objectified by Shockey and his cronies.
Their New Years resolution shoud be to never again wake up next to Bruno Fierce and Shockey.
Fortunately, a few of them will likely get gobs of child support money out of the event.
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